South Park Drabbles
by Wizardofiz127
Summary: A series of one-shots and drabbles revolving around the south park kids. Some are connected and some are AU but hopefully all are enjoyable. Main couple is Red/Kenny cause it's my favorite strange pairing. Reviews are welcomed and appreciated!
1. Betting

**So this is my first fanfiction ever and let me start by thanking you for trying this story out. I do not own South Park the genius' Matt Stone and Trey Parker do. These are a series of one-shot drabbles. Some are connected and some are AU. They'll be marked accordingly. Any reviews or suggestions on how I can do better are greatly appreciated. Onto the story!**

 **Ch.1 Betting**

5th period gym class was Kenny's favorite class of the day. The freshman loved watching the girls participate in physical activities and as an added bonus he got to watch Cartman spectacularly fail at exercising.

The teacher was dealing with something else so all the students were lounging among the bleachers talking.

"This is lame. Hey Keeny you wanna make a bet."Kenny raised an eyebrow but decided to humor Cartman. "What kind of bet? Is it gross or will it cause me bodily harm?"

Cartman rubbed his double chin for a moment, "yes it has the potential to be both but you'll enjoy this one a lot." Pointing down at the girls sitting at the bottom of the bleachers he continued. "You must kiss one of the girls from our grade. I'll give you ten bucks if you slip in some tongue, but I'll give you 20 if you can get her to voluntarily kiss back."

Kenny gave him a very confused face. "Dude why do you want me to assault the girls. You know they'll fuck me up." Cartman smirked before pulling out his wallet. "Yes but you're a whore for money. I'm sure one of them will kiss back. Red and Millie are dumb sluts so you could try them out. Ooh or Bebe cause the Jew wants her."

Kenny groaned but got up from his seat. Making his way to the bottom of the bleachers he looked in the girls direction. He's known all of them since childhood but he wasn't particularly close to any of them so the chances of him getting slapped were extraordinarily high.

Kenny plopped down between Annie and Red and threw his arms over their shoulders. "Hello ladies who wants to see Eric Cartman lose $20 to a handsome guy?" Annie shrugged his arm off and Millie snorted, "I don't see Bridon anywhere so who could you possibly be referring to?" They all laughed before Red spoke up, "What would we have to do Kenny?"

Kenny grinned, "Someone has to kiss me back. Cartman wants to see me get slapped but if one of you kisses back I get his money and the satisfaction of disappointing him." Millie snorted again, "Why would any of us want to kiss you Kenny? You're a perv and a jerk." Sighing Kenny took his arm from around Red. "You guys leave me no choice."

Turning to the girl to his left, Kenny grabbed Red's face and kissed her directly on the mouth.

Red sat there wide eyed and confused at what was going on. She heard Cartman yelling from above her. "Fuck him up Red he's totally sexually assaulting you!" Grabbing Kenny's parka, she closed her eyes and pulled him in closer.

Kenny deepened the kiss by pushing his tongue into her mouth. He was honestly surprised that she wasn't flipping out. He had always thought Red was pretty and getting the chance to make out with her was spectacular. He could hear Cartman yelling and groaning which made the kiss all that much sweeter.

Breaking the kiss, Kenny looked at Red's blushing face. He smiled at her when she opened her blue eyes. Cartman was yelling at them, "You're a fucking whore Red. And fuck you Keeny come get your stupid fucking money!" Smirking Kenny leaned in once more and quickly pecked her on the lips before getting up and moving away from all the stunned girls. "Thank you ladies for the company and thank YOU especially Red."

He ran up the bleachers and took his seat next to a steaming Cartman."You're lucky you picked a ho or you would only be getting 10."Frowning Kenny took his money. "Hey man don't call her a ho. Just cause you could never do that doesn't mean you should rip on her." Cartman feebly punched him in the arm. Kenny returned the favor, causing Cartman to run out screaming from the pain.

When the bell rang and it was time to leave Kenny looked over to where Red was sitting. Noticing Kenny staring, she gave a small smile and a little wave before walking out of the gym with Annie. He got to kiss a pretty girl, hit Cartman, and made 20 bucks. This day couldn't get any better.


	2. Hall Problem

Hall monitoring wasn't an easy task. God knows no one respected him or his halls. Even the principal had to be convinced with a letter of recommendation from the principal of the middle school. Lord knows he tried to keep the halls cleaned of all miscreants especially Jews and gingers. Eric knew he would get shit on the moment he took up the task but it was all worth it.

Suddenly there was a feminine moan that drifted through the air and Eric sniffed the air knowing who it was. He knew this day would come, it was only a matter of time until that no good Jew and his whore girlfriend would disregard his rules. Rounding a corner Eric stopped abruptly falling witness to a sight he could honestly live without. His good friend, many would call them BFF's, Kenny was sucking face with one of those slutty cheerleaders; the ginger freak who flips a lot. He cleared his throats hoping to get the attention of the formerly mentioned but was met with a lusty and amused blue gaze. "Kenny I'm gonna need you and the flavor of the week to clear out of my halls and go with Christ or I'll be forced to bring you in."

Kenny separated from the daywalker to look at the totally buff hall monitor "Cartman fuck your rules, I do what I want-

"Wait did you seriously call my girlfriend slutty in your version? She was barely involved like the fuck is this dude?" Kenny slammed Eric's version of the incident report down on his too small desk. Eric sighed at Kenny, "You know very well that your she-beast is the reason we are both currently sitting in detention with the ever so sleepy, Mr. Lopez. Besides all you wrote was 'He called my girlfriend a day walking whore and tried to bear mace her so I punched him in his fucking face.' That's not even what happened."

Kenny scoffed, "no that is exactly what happened…"

He had no clue how he'd managed to do it but Kenny had convinced Red to skip out on their history class. Partner projects were ok but being paired with ones girlfriend tends to distract one. The teacher had sent the class to the library to start researching their famous/infamous world leader but again being partnered with ones girlfriend could be very distracting especially when ones girlfriend is on the varsity cheerleading team and dressed out for the big game tonight.

"C'mon Red, just come keep me company while I smoke. I won't try anything promise! We can even come back here if you want please I'm dying for some nicotine." Kenny was pouting next to his girlfriend holding a couple of books she had handed him. She scrunched her little nose and rolled her eyes at his request. "we both know you can't keep that promise so you'll just have to suffer until lunch." She handed him another book then walked to sit at a computer. Kenny grumbled as he followed her. Placing the books in his hands down, Kenny flopped defeated into the chair next to Red pouting whenever she looked his way.

Ten minutes passed and with a groan Kenny stood "I can't do this babe I gotta go." Grabbing his stuff he left his girlfriend sitting in front of the computer with her mouth hanging open. Rebecca was astounded. In the 9 months she and Kenny had been dating he never left her while they were doing something before. Quickly gathering her things and checking the books they needed out, Red rushed out of the library.

"How come she didn't give you the third degree about why you're leaving? I had to say I was shitting blood just to walk outside." Kenny locked eyes and smiled down at the red head waiting for an answer. "I actually use the library to study and do school work, not fuck the German exchange student." Kenny's face dropped and his broad shoulders slumped. "Babe that was way before we really started getting to know each other-" Red stopped him with a kiss. She broke the kiss and spoke,"You're stupid if you think I'd be angry over something that happened 2 years ago. Now let's go so you can hurry up and smoke." Kenny stared down in amazement marveling at how cool she was. Taking her hand he lead her out towards the side of the small building.

He couldn't explain it but when they started dating everything just clicked. For once it felt right in every way. He didn't know what made her give a halfhearted yes to his insincere date proposal but he was glad she did.

Kenny pushed open the door to the side of the school building. Holding the door for Red, Kenny slid his bag between the door and jam so they wouldn't get locked out. Kenny leaned his back against the wall beside the door. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cig. "See this isn't so bad is it Red? Just you, me, and the great outdoors." Red laughed "Oh yes this is just so romantic Kenny! I love looking out onto the senior lot! Look you can see my car from here." A big grin spread across Kenny's face. "Well, you know me. I only provide the best for my girl." A small fist connected with his broad shoulder causing a laugh to escape his lips. Taking a few more quick drags, Kenny threw the cigarette down and pulled his girlfriend in close. He leaned his head low in an attempt to kiss her but a quick turn of her head changed that. "No way! You know I hate kissing you after you've smoked. You just taste nasty."

Kenny pulled away with a pout. "And stop pouting!" She pulled the door open and stepped inside. Red felt a large calloused hand grab her hand, interlocking their fingers together. They walked aimlessly around the school for a bit talking about this and that. They continued to walk until Kenny suddenly pushed Red softly against one of the walls of the school. "Remember how you said I can't keep my hands to myself? I hate it when you're right but that skirt is torturing me." Kenny leaned in and kissed the redhead in front of him grabbing at her waist. Kenny ran his tongue over Red's bottom lip, teasing her mouth open and forcing a moan from her. One hand pushed up into her shirt, feeling the soft skin of her flat stomach while the other reached behind and groped her ass. He broke the kiss and moved his mouth to her neck. Red pushed her hands into his hair pulling him closer to her and moaned, eyes shut tight.

Red forced her eyes opened when she heard an awkward cough come from in front of them. She glared at the tubby man standing before them. "Ey Kenny take that shit somewhere else. You and your skanky girlfriend need to get out of my hallways with that shit. Now respect my authoritay or suffer the consequences."

Kenny reluctantly pulled away from the girl in front of him. "Cartman you're interrupting something extremely important to me so if you could fuck off that would be great." He turned back to Red and attempted to ignore Cartman. Red pushed Kenny aside strolling up to Eric with a raised middle finger. "Fuck you and your authority fat boy."

Kenny's eyes went wide at Rebecca's statement. "Ey you bitch I'm not fat I'm big boned! You know what fuck both of you, go with Christ!" Eric attempted to pull his bear mace on her but was stopped by a fist to the face. Kenny didn't like fighting. It wasn't that he couldn't fight, he was on the hockey team for Christ sake, He just preferred to talk things out. There is no talking to Eric Cartman once he'd committed to something though so Ken picked the second best choice; fucking him up. Kenny punched Eric again while he lay on the ground crying. Being pulled back by some random teacher was the only thing that stopped him from climbing on top of the blubbering idiot and hitting him even more.

"And here we are stuck in after school detention cause of you and your unattainable dream of being Dog the bounty hunter." Kenny slumped in the small desk with his arms crossed over his chest. "Because of you I'm gonna miss my girlfriend do flips in a short skirt before the game starts."

"Kenny!" A hushed whisper called out to him. Turning to see behind him, Kenny smiled when he saw his girlfriend standing with Heidi Turner in the doorway. Kenny's first instinct was to jump up and kiss her but his logical brain stopped him forcing him to check and confirm the sleeping status of Mr. Lopez. Standing up he made his way over to his lady with a grin on his face. "Hey babe. What's going on? Shouldn't you be heading to the game?" Red placed her arms around his neck,"I should be but I decided to pull a prison break and told the principal your grandma died of AIDS so let's go handsome." Red started pulling Kenny away but was stopped by the struggling groan of an overweight boy. Eric turned his desk around to look at them. "Ey what about me you dumb bitch!? You're the reason I'm even in this mess."

Red glared at Eric and opened her mouth to say something but was cut off my Heidi. "I told the principal you're having explosive diarrhea and need to go to the doctor so you're free to go too." Eric smiled wide, "Oh wow thanks Heidi! You're so much cooler than your day walker friend. Wanna ride to the game together?" Heidi grinned "sure Eric I'd love to."

Kenny and Red watched their friends walk away together and couldn't help but shudder at the sight. "I don't know what she sees in him."

"Probably the same thing you see in me… a horse cock." Kenny even laughed through the pain in his cheek.


End file.
